Category Archives: Film

Screen time: Review of ‘Pain and Gain’

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A couple things about Michael Bay’s new movie “Pain and Gain.”

PRO: Michael Bay FINALLY stops taking himself so seriously.

In one scene, crippled Tony Shalhoub (Monk from “Monk”) tries to pick a bun up off of the floor, insisting he “needs to do this on his own.”

It takes him a long time, and Bay’s choice of music: something sappy with violins.

It sounds simple and a little ridiculous, but I couldn’t stop laughing. Bay must’ve realized  he can make fun of himself AND have fun.

Bro. Pass me the juice.

Bro. Pass me the juice.

CON: Keep your expectations low. 

“Pain and Gain” was awesome because I’ve don’t expect much from Michael Bay movies, and, that definitely heightened my experience.

PRO: The Rock.

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson plays a born-again ex-con with a penchant for nose candy. He’s a gentle giant, and it totally works. The Rock really shows off his solid comedic timing (in this and “The Other Guys), and I really hope he keeps it up.

CON: It’s based on a true story.

Kinda wish I hadn’t known that before I saw this movie. It get pretty violent, and I couldn’t help feeling horrible for the real-life victims. I eventually eased up and that’s thanks to next up on my list.

PRO: Tony Shalhoub.

I’ve never seen “Monk,” but I’m gonna check it out now. Tony Shalhoub is insanely funny. All of my favorite scenes were with him. (I almost hate to say this about a Michael Bay movie, but) I’ve never laughed so hard at anything that wasn’t a Dave Chappelle sketch. And Shalhoub had a LOT to do with that.

More pros than cons. And, I feel a little gross for saying this, but Michael Bay kinda hit it out of the park with this one. It’s definitely worth seeing.

Check out Herald movie columnist Tim Albrecht’s take on Pain & Gain. http://www.grandforksherald.com/event/article/id/262621/group/Accent/

Watch this week’s Screen Time. Tim and I duke it out over “The Crowe.” http://www.grandforksherald.com/event/article/id/262560/

Screen time: ‘Oblivion,’ review of ‘The Place Beyond the Pines’

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I saw “The Place Beyond the Pines” and walked outta the theater thinking: “That was the best movie I’ve seen this year.”

I don’t want to give too much away, so here are some spoiler-free bullet points.

  • Ryan Gosling is easily one of those actors whose work I will see. Every. Time. He gives a hard-hitting performance (as usual), and even though his character, Luke, is robbing banks to support his family in this film, you’re rooting for his character whole-heartedly. (A testament to the writing and acting.)
  • Eva Mendes plays Gosling’s baby mama, who’s trying to get her life together. Even in stonewash, she’s absolutely luminous, but it’s her performance that stays with you. I haven’t seen her act this solidly, nuanced and subtle, maybe ever. I think she’s arrived.

    Ryan Gosling, Eva Mendes and some baby in "The Place Beyond the Pines."

    Ryan Gosling, Eva Mendes and some baby in “The Place Beyond the Pines.”

  • Bradley Cooper exudes a likability even when he’s playing a jerky jerk, but that didn’t hold true for me in ‘The Pines’. He’s a mega-ambitious rookie cop, who’s “too smart for his own good.” For lack of a better explanation, I was mad at him throughout most of his storyline. (The film’s made up of three interwoven stories.)
  • I was really taken with Ben Mendelsohn’s character, Robin, who talks Luke into robbing banks. This is the first film I’ve seen with Mendelsohn, and he rocked. In one scene, he runs through a field of geese and retains a childlike enthusiasm even with a cigarette dangling from his mouth. #Talent This scene is a key to his character. He’s a little rough around the edges, but he’s good on the inside. (Yeah, the bank robbing thing, but see it to believe it.)
The characters in “The Place Beyond the Pines” are flawed and sometimes morally ambiguous: a perfect combo for this engaging character study.
Check out this week’s episode of Screen Time, where movie columnist Tim Albrecht and I talk shop. http://www.grandforksherald.com/event/article/id/262032/group/Accent/

MY 5: Worst horror movie remakes

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The key to watching a remake is going in with low to no expectations.

I learned this the hard way when I went to the new “Evil Dead.” Before the opening credits, I tweeted: “This better be as good as the original!” And I meant it.

Wrong move. I ruined the whole movie for myself.

Digital effects and gore replaced the charming campiness of the original. And, I was more than disappointed Bruce Campbell didn’t have a cameo, but “Evil Dead” did have a fair cast of characters.

The dude from “Red Riding Hood” (Shiloh Fernandez) does his best to look dreamy in a high-stress situation. The guy who reads from the flesh-covered Necronomicon (Lou Taylor Pucci) is like Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards: no matter how many near-death experiences, he “never” dies. And Natalie (Elizabeth Blackmore) seems to come out of nowhere for the bread slicer scene.

BLOOD BATH: The best 'don't do drugs' ad ever

BLOOD BATH: The best ‘don’t do drugs’ ad ever

But, when I think about the other horror remakes I’ve seen, “Evil Dead” is pretty solid, and it doesn’t even make my list of the Top 5 worst horror movie remakes:

5. “Psycho” (1998): Who woulda thought the Norman Bates from this 1998 remake of an Alfred Hitchock masterpiece would later become a comedy star (Vince Vaughn).  Even under the direction of Gus Van Sant, even in color, even with modern stars, it didn’t work as well as the original. There were some average performances, but the film begs the question of all remakes: WHY??

4. “Fright Night” (2011): Ok, Colin Farrell’s a looker, but that doesn’t make up for this remake of the 1985 original. They did do a good job of modernizing it. “Superbad’s” Fogle makes an appearance as the best friend turned vamp, the all-knowing go-to of The Undead is a Vegas spectacle, and they swapped grassroots makeup effects for digital in the most iconic “mouth-gaping” scene of the movie. Downer, but still watchable. On the plus side: Toni Collette and Anton Yelchin totally worked.

3. “Nightmare on Elm Street” (2010): I might just have a thing for Rooney Mara because I liked this more than I should’ve. The Freddy Krueger of my youth was domineering, creepfactor 15 and he kills Johnny Depp in waterbeds. Maybe they cast Jackie Earle Haley cause he’s kinda Freddy-freaky without makeup, but his parlor trick (making sparks with his knife hand) got old real fast. And his victims were always taller than him. #NotFreddyCaliberScary

Don't play with matches, kiddies. Love, Freddy.

Don’t play with matches, kiddies. Love, Freddy.

2. “The Omen” (2006): Liev Schrieber ain’t got nothing on Gregory Peck, and Julia Stiles was so dry as Damien’s mother, I wasn’t upset when he pushed her over the railing because that meant her screen time was over. And the evil nanny scene from the original, shot up close with low lighting for effect … why would you want to remake perfection?

1. “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” (2003): They traded the psychos who chase victims in broad daylight for a shy slayer who opts to creep in the darkness. Big mistake as the end scene from the original freaked me out way more than the “Now you see him, now you don’t” scare tactics of today. And, when one of the victims dies, a ring box falls out of his pocket. Backstory to make the death more affecting? Totally unnecessary in my book.

After making my list, I realized the new “Evil Dead” is pretty solid.

They were sure to include scene staples, and on the bright side, this remake will likely turn a new generation of movie-goers onto the original. And for those who haven’t seen the new “Evil Dead,” be sure to wait until after the credits for a “surprise.”

Here’s what made the lists of other movie junkies.

Click here for Moviefone’s 5 Horror Movies That Don’t Suck

Click here for Hitflix’s 10 Horror Remakes That Got It Right

Here’s my all-time favorite horror movie remake:

Sarah Polley in "Dawn of the Dead"

Sarah Polley in “Dawn of the Dead”

“Dawn of the Dead” (2004): Sure, zombies can run in this take on the 1978 original. That took me a mere second to get over cause the movie allowed little time for criticism. Everything that happens before the opening credits screams: more suspense and more gore. Director Zack Snyder (“300″ and this year’s “Man of Steel”) used technology to his advantage, and by going with the revamped  take on zombies, he made this remake his own.

What makes your list?

Screen Time: G.I. Joe, ‘Oz the Great and Powerful’ delivers

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For this week’s Screen Time web show, Herald movie columnist Tim Albrecht and I talk “G.I. Joe: Retaliation,” and “Oz The Great and Powerful,” which I FINALLY saw last weekend.

I know, I’m late. And I also know I probably missed out on not seeing it in 3-D.

But it was wonderful.

Save for the first 20 minutes, the film was colorful, uplifting and bright: the perfect antidote to North Dakota’s would-be spring. Director Sam Raimi catapults us into a visually striking world full of adorably clad inhabitants, so inviting, I wanted to live there.

Some of the effects did come across a bit cartoon-y. When James Franco (Oz) and Michelle Williams (Glinda, the Good Witch) travel by bubble, the effects seemed to falter, but that may have been a sequence better suited for 3-D.

Even kicking butt, Glinda the Good Witch has a heart of gold.

Even kicking butt, Glinda the Good Witch has a heart of gold.

At first, I was concerned that Franco might’ve been miscast. He’s charismatic and talented, but he brings a very palpable air of modernity, which I thought might not translate.

But it all worked in his favor.

The role of Oz calls for a fast-talking con-man with an ahead-of-his-time charm. And Franco delivers.

Williams, as always, is a delight to watch. I came out of the film wishing Glinda and I could be besties because she’s so positive, encouraging and devoid of petty bad habits.

SPOILER ALERT: I’m not alone here, but I called Mila Kunis’ transformation into the Wicked Witch. Though, I’m no genius because I didn’t foresee Rachel Weisz as evil.

Both actresses bring it, and I was really taken with the backstory of The Wicked Witch. As someone who grew up with “The Wizard of Oz,” it was an insight that stuck with me days after I left the theater.

“Oz” does lack momentum before the end, but it makes for an even more entertaining ‘show’down. The film’s ending mirrors that of its sequel, which some may find cheesy, but for me, it just enchanted me further.

Definitely watch it if you’re curious. Save for some moments, it’s worth it.

 

‘Cabin in the Woods’: A Gory Shout-out to Horror Genre

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I’m no Joss Whedon expert, but after watching his newest project, “The Cabin in the Woods,” I can say I’m a fan. The movie’s a postmodern homage to the horror flicks that we grew up with. But it turns the genre on its head.

Dude, when a cellar door opens on its own, you DON'T investigate.

We’re all familiar with horror’s archetypes: the jock, the whore, the nerd, the comic relief (joker), the saint. Whedon’s familiar too and his film gives us an “explanation” for the genre’s stock characters.

We’ve got Chris Hemsworth (sans the blonde locks and Thor hammer) starring alongside relative no-names, Kristen Connolly, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz and Jesse Williams as the five victims, with great performances by Richard Jenkins (Step Brothers) and Bradley Whitford (The West Wing) as the guys behind the scenes.

Without giving too much away, I will say, if you’re a horror fan, I think you’ll love and at least appreciate “The Cabin in the Woods.” The clown from “It,” Pin Head from “Hellraiser” and a murderous unicorn (I have no idea) all have cameos in a graphic sequence that, at one point, made me look away.

Whedon’s penchant for great dialogue shines. I was equally amused and horrified in between laughs. All those times you’ve screamed at the TV with the obvious questions: “Why is she running upstairs instead of out the front door?!  Why are they needling around in a creepy basement anyway! Didn’t they see “Evil Dead!”

Whedon has his characters questioning, and he gives us a gory, horrific, twisted answer.

‘Contagion’ has all the symptoms but lacks the payoff of a solid flick

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“Contagion” opened at midnight today, and I was pumped. The trailer is action-packed, thrilling and promises thrills and chills (no pun intended), but the movie doesn’t follow suit. It opens to a black screen and the isolated sound of coughing. (Kudos to director Steven Soderbergh and screenwriter Scott Z. Burns.) It all starts with one contact.

The movie’s jam-packed with Oscar winners and star power, (Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, Marion Cotillard, Laurence Fishburne, Jude Law) but there’s little time for them to shine. The movie bounces between story lines and loses momentum.

Jude Law, sporting a false tooth, does a great job as a blogger intent to cash in on hysteria; Kate Winslet is convincing as a selfless medical investigator running to the front lines of a lethal pandemic; and Laurence Fishburne (who arguably hasn’t had such a strong role since “The Matrix” trilogy) slam-dunks as the CDC front-man who’s not immune to bending the rules when his loved ones are concerned.

Oh, Gwynnie! I wouldn't do that if I were you...

We witness hysteria as food and meds dwindle, men knocking down pregnant women, looting mobs and a band of modern-day cowboys who, we can deduce by the sound of gunshots, murder a family to steal supplies. Matt Damon calls 911 only to find an automated message. “Press 4 if you need to dispose of a body.”

We get it. When the fear of apocalypse rears its ugly head, civility is the first casualty. But that seems to be the meat of “Contagion.” (Spoiler) When a vaccine is discovered (thanks to the Nobel-prize seeking courage of a lone doc), we’re on to the next point: “Who will get the life-saving meds first?” And thus begets social commentary Round 2.

The movie is very present-day with talk of pharmaceutical company conspiracies and  H1N1, but it might have been better-suited in the sci-fi genre. It’s a suspense film that loses suspense, but it does a good job of showing that there are no purely good guys or bad guys, especially during a pandemic.

It’s worth seeing if you’re curious. I was at the edge of my seat for the bulk of it, and in the vein of “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” or “Night of the Living Dead,” nobody, rich or poor, was safe in “Contagion.”  The movie’s true to its tagline: Nothing spreads like fear, but in the end, you can easily wash your hands of it … though sanitizer will do.

Theme Song Thursday: Who. Is. The Masser?

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Bruce Leroy. The Glow. The Sho-Gun of Harlem. Any of these ring a bell? If not, you might be missing out on a cult classic.

“The Last Dragon” came out in 1985 and has been described as a martial arts, dance movie. If you haven’t seen it, it might be too late. It’s pretty campy and one of those movies that gets immediate amnesty if you grew up with it. It features your typical characters: A black belt trying to reach the “Final Level” who eats popcorn with chopsticks; the damsel in distressed played by 80′s seductress Vanity; and the bully in martial arts garb made complete with black Converse sneakers and shoulder pads.

Sho-Nuff discovers who the REAL master is.

Having said that, “The Last Dragon” may be best known for its music, which was supervised by Motown Records founder, Berry Gordon. The soundtrack featured “Rhythm of the Night,” which hit No. 3 on Billboard’s Top 100, Stevie Wonder’s “Upset Stomach,” Vanity’s “7th Heaven” and the immortal theme, “The Last Dragon,” by Dwight David.

All a “Last Dragon” die-hard need do to weed out like-minded people is to sing a couple of words from this theme.

Take life one day at a time
That’s what a wise man said to me.
He said, “Life, in all it’s complexity
Is the ultimate test for you and me.”

When you walk holding your head up high
For the masters watching you from the sky
I know not what trouble lies ahead
Before you fight, use your head.

It’s time to leave my nest where you were born
This journey you must make alone.
(Spread your wings and fly)
There’s a power deep inside you, an inner strength
You’ll find in time of need.
(The Glow)

Like the seasons, love will come and go
If it’s right, you’ll automatically know.
The world of mystery exists only in your head.
When you become one with yourself
The wall will fall

The journey now before you is the final test
You’ve learned your lesson well.
(I can teach you no more)
There’s a power deep inside you, an inner strength
You’ll find in time of need.
(The Glow)

You are the Last Dragon
You posess the power of the Glow

“The Last Dragon,” theme song by Dwight David

“The Glow,” by Willie Hutch

“7th Heaven,” performed by Vanity

Theme Song Thursday extra: The character Sho’Nuff makes a cameo in Busta Rhymes’ 1997 music video for “Dangerous”:

Theme Song Thursday is a weekly look back at memorable, not-so-influential, nostalgia-inducing theme songs by the Herald’s Melinda Lavine and Ryan Johnson. Click here to read other Theme Song Thursday posts and feel free to share!

Harry Potter countdown in full effect

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The final installation of Harry Potter drops at midnight on Friday. How many of you are boning up on the films or in the middle of an HP marathon?

I’m one of the unfortunates who haven’t read all of the books, but I’ve been in theaters opening night for the past three movies. The energy is always electric, I’ve most often felt out of place sans Hogwarts garb and I’ve cursed being without a drawn thunderbolt on my forehead.

East Grand Forks’ RiverCinema will show the film on all screens at midnight Friday. As of Wednesday afternoon, there were only 200 tickets left, said RiverCinema employee Caleb Marten. The theater’s been selling them for two weeks, and sales were at 1385 (give or take a few more after I bought mine). RiverCinema will also show Part 1 of the Deathly Hallows at 9 p.m. Thursday for $3. That’ll be handy if you want a refresher AND if you want to avoid the seating scurry.

When I asked if the RiverCinema employees had seen the movie already, they weren’t able to tell me, but they seemed pumped for Thursday night.

I’ll be there Thursday night, waiting in line with all the others. Feel free to say hello. I’ll be the one with the lightening bolt on my forehead.

Here’s a link that might soothe the pain of the end and test your Potter knowledge here! I’ll also be live-tweeting before and after the show. Click here to view my Twitter feed.