‘Cabin in the Woods’: A Gory Shout-out to Horror Genre

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I’m no Joss Whedon expert, but after watching his newest project, “The Cabin in the Woods,” I can say I’m a fan. The movie’s a postmodern homage to the horror flicks that we grew up with. But it turns the genre on its head.

Dude, when a cellar door opens on its own, you DON'T investigate.

We’re all familiar with horror’s archetypes: the jock, the whore, the nerd, the comic relief (joker), the saint. Whedon’s familiar too and his film gives us an “explanation” for the genre’s stock characters.

We’ve got Chris Hemsworth (sans the blonde locks and Thor hammer) starring alongside relative no-names, Kristen Connolly, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz and Jesse Williams as the five victims, with great performances by Richard Jenkins (Step Brothers) and Bradley Whitford (The West Wing) as the guys behind the scenes.

Without giving too much away, I will say, if you’re a horror fan, I think you’ll love and at least appreciate “The Cabin in the Woods.” The clown from “It,” Pin Head from “Hellraiser” and a murderous unicorn (I have no idea) all have cameos in a graphic sequence that, at one point, made me look away.

Whedon’s penchant for great dialogue shines. I was equally amused and horrified in between laughs. All those times you’ve screamed at the TV with the obvious questions: “Why is she running upstairs instead of out the front door?!  Why are they needling around in a creepy basement anyway! Didn’t they see “Evil Dead!”

Whedon has his characters questioning, and he gives us a gory, horrific, twisted answer.

Monday mix: Vader 2.0

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“Super Bowl: The Morning After,” is all about the game, the half-time show and, of course, the ads. A lot of em featured kids and dogs, and honestly, you can’t go wrong here.

For today’s Monday mix, I’m featuring my favorite ad, which was a shout-out to last year’s winner, in my opinion. Star Wars, James Brown, dogs: perfection. Hope you enjoy and happy Monday! Feel free to your ad fave.

Last year’s champ

 

‘Two and a Half Men’ adds Ashton Kutcher to the mix

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There was so much hype around Charlie Sheen when he was axed on “Two and a Half Men.” He filed a $100 million lawsuit. He rampaged. He unknowingly became the No. 1 spokesman for psychiatry in the world. But today, CBS announced his replacement on the hit TV show! Ashton Kutcher will come on as a wealthy, bearded Internet genius who’s unlucky with the ladies. His character is set to move in with Alan (Jon Cryer) and young Jake (Angus T. Jones).

They'rrrrreee baaaaaack

“Two and a Half Men” returns for its ninth season Monday. The show’s writers and producers had a couple of challenges dealing with the loss of Charlie Sheen, who met his end on the show in a a fatal car accident. But according to co-star Cryer:

“The writers had an enormous challenge and you’ll see they handled it beautifully. Change is often shocking but it’s so true to the show. And sometimes stuff you don’t see coming happens in life. And in that respect it was very true to life.”

Kutcher seems to be a good-natured, safe addition to the trio. I think after getting “Sheen-ed” last seaon, the show creators were looking for the goods Kutcher can deliver. But I guess we’ll see how the revamped cast pans out next week.

Click here for more on Sheen and click here to read the full news article.

 

‘Contagion’ has all the symptoms but lacks the payoff of a solid flick

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“Contagion” opened at midnight today, and I was pumped. The trailer is action-packed, thrilling and promises thrills and chills (no pun intended), but the movie doesn’t follow suit. It opens to a black screen and the isolated sound of coughing. (Kudos to director Steven Soderbergh and screenwriter Scott Z. Burns.) It all starts with one contact.

The movie’s jam-packed with Oscar winners and star power, (Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, Marion Cotillard, Laurence Fishburne, Jude Law) but there’s little time for them to shine. The movie bounces between story lines and loses momentum.

Jude Law, sporting a false tooth, does a great job as a blogger intent to cash in on hysteria; Kate Winslet is convincing as a selfless medical investigator running to the front lines of a lethal pandemic; and Laurence Fishburne (who arguably hasn’t had such a strong role since “The Matrix” trilogy) slam-dunks as the CDC front-man who’s not immune to bending the rules when his loved ones are concerned.

Oh, Gwynnie! I wouldn't do that if I were you...

We witness hysteria as food and meds dwindle, men knocking down pregnant women, looting mobs and a band of modern-day cowboys who, we can deduce by the sound of gunshots, murder a family to steal supplies. Matt Damon calls 911 only to find an automated message. “Press 4 if you need to dispose of a body.”

We get it. When the fear of apocalypse rears its ugly head, civility is the first casualty. But that seems to be the meat of “Contagion.” (Spoiler) When a vaccine is discovered (thanks to the Nobel-prize seeking courage of a lone doc), we’re on to the next point: “Who will get the life-saving meds first?” And thus begets social commentary Round 2.

The movie is very present-day with talk of pharmaceutical company conspiracies and  H1N1, but it might have been better-suited in the sci-fi genre. It’s a suspense film that loses suspense, but it does a good job of showing that there are no purely good guys or bad guys, especially during a pandemic.

It’s worth seeing if you’re curious. I was at the edge of my seat for the bulk of it, and in the vein of “Invasion of the Body Snatchers” or “Night of the Living Dead,” nobody, rich or poor, was safe in “Contagion.”  The movie’s true to its tagline: Nothing spreads like fear, but in the end, you can easily wash your hands of it … though sanitizer will do.

Theme Song Thursday: ‘Perfect Strangers’ touts a perfect theme song

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Much of my childhood, at least on Friday nights, revolved around ABC’s TGIF lineup in the early 1990s. Everyone had a favorite sitcom during the two-hour weekly programming block, whether it was “Full House,” “Family Matters” or “Step by Step.”

Perfect Strangers

Cousin Larry and Cousin Balki

But my favorite, then and now, is “Perfect Strangers,” a perfect sitcom for its odd couple pairing of Larry Appleton (Mark Linn-Baker) and his previously unknown distant cousin Balki Bartokomous (Bronson Pinchot), who hailed from the Mediterranean island of Mypos.

The show revolves around Balki’s failures and successes as he tries to adapt to the American way of life while living in his cousin’s Chicago apartment. When things went right, Balki would bust out his signature “Dance of Joy”; when things went wrong, it usually turned out Balki was more right than his stressed-out, neurotic cousin Larry when it come down to being a good guy and doing the right thing.

“Perfect Strangers” came from the production dream team Miller-Boyett, who also were behind pretty much every other good sitcom at the time, including “Full House,” “Perfect Strangers” spinoff “Family Matters” and “Step by Step.” And these guys really knew the value of having an awesome theme song, which explains why they relied on songwriting duo Jesse Frederick and Bennett Salvay to write the themdes for all the shows I just mentioned (and that explains why they all have somewhat similar themes).

But for whatever reason, I think it all came together perfectly in the minute or so of awesomeness in “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Me Now,” an optimistic song about not giving up that’s a great intro to each episode of “Perfect Strangers.” The song, performed by David Pomeranz, went through several small edits and cuts through the show’s eight-season run from 1986 to 1993 but always kept the focus on the original theme’s inspiring lyrics:

Standing tall, on the wings of my dream.
Rise and fall, on the wings of my dream.
The rain and thunder
The wind and haze
I’m bound for better days.
It’s my life and my dream,
Nothing’s gonna stop me now.

Don’t get me wrong, “Full House” and “Family Matters” have classic theme songs, and I have always loved the catchy little ditty that kicked off each episode of “Step by Step.” But “Perfect Strangers” was the most solid sitcom ever developed by Miller-Boyett, and the show’s theme also stands above the rest of a pretty amazing pack of shows and songs that stemmed from these television geniuses.

But you don’t have to take my word for it:

And here’s the infamous “Dance of Joy”:

Awesome.

Theme Song Thursday is a weekly look back at memorable, not-so-influential, nostalgia-inducing theme songs by the Herald’s Melinda Lavine and Ryan Johnson. Click here to read previous entries, and feel free to share!

Theme Song Thursday: Who. Is. The Masser?

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Bruce Leroy. The Glow. The Sho-Gun of Harlem. Any of these ring a bell? If not, you might be missing out on a cult classic.

“The Last Dragon” came out in 1985 and has been described as a martial arts, dance movie. If you haven’t seen it, it might be too late. It’s pretty campy and one of those movies that gets immediate amnesty if you grew up with it. It features your typical characters: A black belt trying to reach the “Final Level” who eats popcorn with chopsticks; the damsel in distressed played by 80′s seductress Vanity; and the bully in martial arts garb made complete with black Converse sneakers and shoulder pads.

Sho-Nuff discovers who the REAL master is.

Having said that, “The Last Dragon” may be best known for its music, which was supervised by Motown Records founder, Berry Gordon. The soundtrack featured “Rhythm of the Night,” which hit No. 3 on Billboard’s Top 100, Stevie Wonder’s “Upset Stomach,” Vanity’s “7th Heaven” and the immortal theme, “The Last Dragon,” by Dwight David.

All a “Last Dragon” die-hard need do to weed out like-minded people is to sing a couple of words from this theme.

Take life one day at a time
That’s what a wise man said to me.
He said, “Life, in all it’s complexity
Is the ultimate test for you and me.”

When you walk holding your head up high
For the masters watching you from the sky
I know not what trouble lies ahead
Before you fight, use your head.

It’s time to leave my nest where you were born
This journey you must make alone.
(Spread your wings and fly)
There’s a power deep inside you, an inner strength
You’ll find in time of need.
(The Glow)

Like the seasons, love will come and go
If it’s right, you’ll automatically know.
The world of mystery exists only in your head.
When you become one with yourself
The wall will fall

The journey now before you is the final test
You’ve learned your lesson well.
(I can teach you no more)
There’s a power deep inside you, an inner strength
You’ll find in time of need.
(The Glow)

You are the Last Dragon
You posess the power of the Glow

“The Last Dragon,” theme song by Dwight David

“The Glow,” by Willie Hutch

“7th Heaven,” performed by Vanity

Theme Song Thursday extra: The character Sho’Nuff makes a cameo in Busta Rhymes’ 1997 music video for “Dangerous”:

Theme Song Thursday is a weekly look back at memorable, not-so-influential, nostalgia-inducing theme songs by the Herald’s Melinda Lavine and Ryan Johnson. Click here to read other Theme Song Thursday posts and feel free to share!

Theme Song Thursday: Louie Louie you’re gonna cry

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I like plenty of TV show theme songs that are instrumentals – “30 Rock” has a pretty good theme, and the music that kicks off each episode of “MacGyver” gets me pumped up and ready to watch Mac’s practical wisdom save the day.

Louie

Louie (Louis C.K.)

But I really prefer a theme that has words because, let’s face it, there’s nothing better than a catchy song to sing along with, especially if you’re loyally watching the show and will be forced to hear the song over and over again.

That’s why I love “Brother Louie,” the 1970s Hot Chocolate song that serves as the theme of the hilariously smart FX comedy “Louie.” The original song is about 4 minutes long, dealing with the topic of interracial romance and a couple faced with racism. That might seem at odds with a comedy stemming from the twisted yet somehow relatable mind of Louis C.K. But mixed into the original song is a repeated chorus that works perfectly for a show about a depressed white dude named Louie:

“Louie Louie Louie, Louie
Louie Louie Lou-i
Louie Louie Louie
Louie Louie you’re gonna cry”

Hot Chocolate didn’t get much attention for this song – you probably know them for “You Sexy Thing,” their 1975 classic. But “Brother Louie” rose to the top of the charts in 1973 when it was expertly covered by one-hit wonder Stories.

Here’s the song, as performed by Stories:

http://youtu.be/exl0oSfTSoY

And here’s a clip from “Louie,” a show you should definitely start watching if you haven’t already:

Theme Song Thursday is a weekly look back at memorable, not-so-influential, nostalgia-inducing theme songs by the Herald’s Melinda Lavine and Ryan Johnson. Click here to read other Theme Song Thursday posts and feel free to share!